I thought all of this would be easy. Maybe that was my mistake. I thought I could skip over the downfalls of leaving a five year relationship unscathed. The truth is though, it has been anything but graceful. It has taken close to six months for things to be just ok. For my ex and I to become cordial friends for the sake of co parenting our beautiful daughter. For me land on my feet.
I have always been an independent person. I had my own place at 20, a great job at 21 with my own office. I could afford to travel with friends if I wanted to. Things were perfect. But that was seven years ago, pre baby, and pre ex- fiance status. When I look back at the person I had become in my relationship, I didn’t recognize her. As a mother to a daughter, I scared me.
What kind of example of love was I showing my daughter?
I talk about self love a lot on my blog and in my personal life. Somewhere through those five years, I lost a lot of it. I placed my happiness and self worth in the possession of others and began to feel as if I could not be successful on my own. I was scared that if I jumped, I would land on my butt and not my feet. But God had another life planned for me.
When my daughter was born, I began a journal for her. I always planned to give it to her on her wedding day. During these past six months I have been penning lessons to her, just short notes here and there for her to read when she needs encouragement later in life. The most ironic part is, even though these notes serve as encouragement for her, they have been constant reminders of self love for myself. It’s funny how that all works out.
Lessons I Pen To My Daughter
Don’t Ever Forget Who You Are
Sometimes I look back at adolescence and I shudder. It’s a stage in life I would never want to go through again. Once I hit my twenties, I assumed it was all over…only to experience another level of growth. There will be many sources of influence that will come into your life- you will see girls your age doing things that your heart tells you is wrong but you will be confused. There will be men who will make you feel as if you are only worth dinner and a movie. You are worth so much more. Don’t ever forget who you are. You my dear, are a child of the Almighty. You deserve to be treated with respect, love, and compassion. No one can take that away from you.
Know That You Are Beautiful So It Is Not A Surprise To Hear It
Beauty is a given for you. Even though you may hear it often, it may be hard for you to believe. There will be people in this world who will prey on that- people who will notice your cheeks redden when they give you a compliment or see how it stumbles you to be given praise. My number one lesson to you here is to always remain humble. Your beautiful exterior can always be taken away from you but the beauty in your heart will remain forever. Remember this, so that every man who gives you a compliment doesn’t think that “You are beautiful” is the only effort he has to make in winning your heart. Your outer beauty is skin deep. Remember this always.
A Friend Never Makes You Feel Worthless
Friendships may become a difficult thing in your life. You will start out with many and narrow them down to just a select few. This is ok, I promise. Do not feel bad for changing and evolving into a better person. Realize that everyone will not take this path with you. Use discernment when handling your friendships. Your inner circle should reflect your inner person. Can you say that is a true statement in your life? If you find yourself being unsatisfied with your friendships, stop looking at them and turn around and look at yourself. They are only reflecting you.
The Only Person You Must Rely On Is God
My most important lesson is this. If you find yourself putting faith in humans, you will always be disappointed. Be confident in your faith. Be confident that God will always grant you the desires of your heart, as long as they match up with His purpose. I pray for you constantly. I pray that you develop a strong faith much earlier than I did. Your faith and action in God will save you from many heartaches and struggles.
Psalms 37:4- “Find exquisite delight in Jehovah, and He will grant you the desires of your heart”
Remember this- it always starts and ends with Him.
This post is sponsored by Cross Pens. All opinions and views expressed are my own.