When I first started blogging, I would spend hours scrolling through Instagram and websites, marveling at mommy bloggers. They were always so well put together. Many of them had husbands that were always on business trips, their houses were immaculately put together, and they spent all day sipping tea and having the time and space to reflect on their feelings. Every caption let us know that their husband was their best friend and on weekends all they desired to do was cuddle in bed with their little ones.
What a life.
At the time, I was a stay at home mom. While I had ample time to ponder on my feelings, my life was far from this social media fairy tale. My child’s father was not my best friend, we lived in a cramped one bedroom apartment, and the truth was – I was aching for a night out. Who was I supposed to encourage?
Even still, I moved forward. I launched my blog and made it my intention to not heavily involve myself in the narrative. And I didn’t. During the first year of my blog, my partner and I separated, my daughter and I moved in with friends, and I struggled to rejoin the life of working for someone else. I dealt with an array of emotions, depressions, and all the while, felt that it was so inappropriate to talk about those things on my platform. This platform was supposed to be a space of peace, tranquility, and all forms of self care. We were women, after all. I could om my way out of distress.
Here it is, almost two years later since I hit my launch button and I am learning so much about myself and what mom blogging is all about. The truth is – I am young, single, and Black. I am not your traditional mom blogger. You probably won’t find photos of me snuggled on the couch with my husband because he doesn’t exist yet. I am trying to tackle what it is like to date with a child. I don’t have many DIY cookie shaped like My Little Pony recipes, sometimes my kid and I eat out four nights a week. My apartment is small but modern. There are no large spacious kitchen backgrounds so that I can look like Martha Stewart (not happening anyways because I’m Black!), and on weekends I like to go out with my friends. If I can’t find a sitter, my little one comes along with me to art shows, movies, and get togethers.
I am young, single, and Black. I am not your traditional mom blogger.
I have so many reasons why I launched this platform and as time goes on, those answers are constantly evolving. My feel on the subject matter today? I want to modernize the face of mom blogging. We aren’t all married. Our lives are messy. We get sad too. Sometimes we fail. Bad. I mean, like really bad. And we leave the really big mess ups completely off of our platforms because we are human. Secretly, we want you to like us. But wanting you to like us and not telling you how we can relate to your hard times isn’t fair.
I don’t want to end this post in shambles. I am happy. Here I am at 28 years old, a full time entrepreneur, and I get to network with some of the most bad ass women in my industry. My child’s father and I have a very harmonious co-parenting relationship and I know as soon as I get these braces off, I am going to get my groove on. Yep, this 28 year old single woman will start dating with intention, with a child. I am still Black, will always rep for my Blackness, and can still rub shoulders and smile with my other multicultural mom blogging counterparts. I am embracing my differences instead of being so gong ho on hiding them to appear normal.
What is normal anyway?