I always liken mom bloggers to the over active PTA mothers. We are happy, chipper, and even when we are going through a rough time, it is usually described with some beautifully staged photo accompanied with the caption as to how we have hard times too. But we have the actual time to process it in a super witty way… all while promoting some tea company for our wellness and self-care.
I am a mom blogger. So before I continue this article and piss off other mom bloggers, I just want to say, this isn’t that kind of article.
Blogging is a business. In the few years that I have been in it, I realize that it is a business that most people just don’t understand. Or they denounce it to a hobby we’ve all gotten lucky enough to get paid from. And believe me, I get it. Not once do I take what I do for granted…ok, maybe sometimes I do but I am thankful to be able to set my schedule as I please and write about the things that truly make me happy.
As a mom blogger, I am a part of many mom blogger groups where we have lengthy discussions on how to curate the perfect Instagram feed, how to pitch brands on partnerships, and when engagement is low, how we can help each other boost our engagement so brands will still find us attractive and give us those lucrative partnerships we so desire. Because as I stated before, mom blogging is a business, regardless of what you may think.
Blogging is a business.
But what we don’t talk about in those groups is mom blogging through crisis. As mothers, we are normally writing about THE most sensitive topic any blogger can talk about – our families. And like most families, it isn’t always pretty. But guess what? Brands don’t want to partner with ugly. They don’t want to partner with sadness, depression, divorce, and miscarriage. So we fake the funk…until we can’t. As mom bloggers, everyone expects for us to always be joyful. Even in our sorrow, our feeds should reflect that we never miss a step..and when we do, we still managed to capture the most perfect photo of our fall.
Brands don’t want to partner with ugly.
You would think that we lay around on fluffy pillows all day and sip organic tea while wearing heels and hipster hats with our friends with our never dirty children in designer clothes all day. Or that we have husbands who don’t get annoyed that we are always snapping photos of them attempting to brush their teeth. My favorite – my story, the single mom who is just overly ecstatic and always energized while raising her child alone.
It’s all bullshit.
Maybe not all…but I’ll say about 30%. This is hard. It’s so hard mama, that when we are going through a crisis, we are normally typing out a perfect caption, posting a beautiful photo, and crying snot in real life. When our friends call us to meet up and discuss how awesome life is over those supposed cups of organic teas, we are finding reasons to tell them we aren’t available because we are so stressed out with life.
Our lives can turn into perfectly tuned photo ops that leave little room for vulnerability.
I’m writing this in raw form right now. I’m blogging through crisis. As I sit here in front of my computer attempting to come up with some creative lie on how wonderful my life is at the moment, I realized that I couldn’t. And even though I don’t care to reveal my crisis, I KNEW there would be some mom out there who reads my blog that would see this and let out a sigh of relief just to say…”Thank goodness. I’m really not doing this alone.”
If you think you truly know the person behind the computer because you engage with them online, through a platform that they are getting paid to run 75% of the time, think again. I’m not saying we aren’t truthful, that we aren’t genuine or that we don’t have your best intentions in our hearts. Most of us do. What I am saying is that we are real people. We go through some bad things, some hard times, and because our lives are our jobs, it can become difficult to express our crisis. How do we curate that?
So, check in on your favorite mom blogger sometimes. Rather it be in real life or on the internet. We need those hugs too.