Is there a such thing as a year of all years for lessons? 2017 was like, “HEY BOO!!! I GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU!!” And there she was – sweet on the outside but unforgiving to her core. Let’s take these 11 lessons into 2018. 

You Can Either Be A Victim Or An Advocate

Listen Linda, I know he hurt you. I know that job fired you unjustly. I know that Trump took away our beloved Obama but the lesson here is, you can boss up or you can cry about it. Personally, I love a healthy dose of both. Stop reading books on the 30 Names For Tears and get your shit together. Give yourself a period to cry so that you can move on and thrive. 

Demand Your Worth

You can’t expect anyone to know your worth if you fail to demand your worth. Stop accepting minimum wage, $25 engagement rings, and poor excuses. Being down doesn’t mean accepting crappy interactions. Besides, let’s kill this knowledge of “being down“. We can love you and still require nice things like respect and to keep our edges. #Nostressin2018

Hire Slow, Fire Quick

Photo’d from left to right: Mel White, Destiney Lavonia, Nichole Lynel, Dom Brown

Borrowed from Destiney, Creator of MomCrushMonday: Properly vet each new interaction in your life. It doesn’t matter if you are hiring an intern or manifesting a romantic relationship, ask the important questions up front. Once the relationship stops being beneficial, run for the hills. Let them go and stop trying to make excuses for short comings in others. 

And listen, we are not advocating not giving people chances…but how many chances does one need before you realize this is just who they are? 

Let People Know They Hurt You

Forget turning the other cheek, being the bigger person, all that. When we turn the other cheek, rarely do we let that mess go. Hold people accountable for their actions. Have a sit down and look at them and say, “You hurt me”. Hurting someone is not up for debate so skip the argument. Let your feelings be known so you can properly release that negative energy from your life. 

Leave Your Superwoman Cape In 2017

You can’t do it all and that’s okay. Hold space for people to love you, help you, and give you breaks when necessary. It still takes a village to accomplish much.

Work On Being Direct

Passive aggressiveness only works for crazy people (and Aquariuses). Be direct on what you expect from others. You are the only one that can read your mind so stop expecting others to be able to.

Make A Decision

Poor decision making skills will have you back tracking fifty leven (yea I said it) times. You may can see both sides of an argument but you have to choose one and stick with it. Clear confusion from your mind so that you can properly grow.

Practice Empathy

We all have that one friend. That, “I don’t ever hear from you anymore” friend. The way my life is set up currently, if we aren’t handling some sort of business together, you probably won’t hear from me outside of the occasional hello. It’s not personal, so stop taking it as such. And sometimes it is personal but not on your end but on the person going through their struggle. Understand that when people are not available, it’s normally because they are working or processing. And that is okay.

Live Your Truth

And understand that because of this, many people won’t understand you. But there is an entire tribe of people out there that will. Find them. 

It’s Ok To Trick Off Every Now And Again

Photo’d: Williams Family Fun Adventures

Like T.I. said, “It ain’t trickin if you got it“. Since we are working on our better selves, let’s change this mantra to “Schedule the trick off“. When you create your budget for 2018, give yourself some legroom for fun adventures. If you like to shop, include a spending limit in your budget each month for a new pair of shoes or a fancy meal. Saving money isn’t fun if it feels like prison. You earned this!

No One Can Be You

I know we all think we are the creators of every amazing thing but as the old biblical saying goes – There is nothing new under the sun (Thanks King Solomon). Chances are that whatever you are doing, has already been done. Don’t focus on those who are copying you or creating something similar but continue to grow in an authentic manner. People will support your realness. 

What lessons are you taking into 2018? Tell us below!

With love,

-Shanicia

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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